Gay Agony Uncle: Your Hole is My Goal

 

Guys, check the COMMENTS link. Interesting views expressed therein…

Hi Cloud:

Les and I went to school together. We played in the same lacrosse team. We double-dated a lot, and compared notes. I won’t bother you with more details. We became the best of friends.

He and I got jobs if only shitty ones in this economy. We are now rooming together in his flat. (His folks gave him a condo.) For the record, I am paying my dues, tho the rent we agreed upon is like, favorable for me.

Les never gave me any reason to believe that he was interested in the guys. Like I said, we have been rooming together for three years now. I would have noticed something, I guess.

Les got dumped by his last GF in the beginning of February. He was cheating. Well, we have been both cheating ever since the freshman year. I hope you won’t judge us… Jock dudes have a reputation to uphold.

For the first time, Les got really upset about being dumped. I was like, Dude, let’s get going, and you’ll score again. No biggie. He said, he could not care less. We ordered pizzas, opened a few cans, and went on bullshitting. Been there before.

He punched me lightly over some stupid remark. So, I punched him back. We started wrestling. I know think, more like horsing around. The horsing bit was a bit new. One thing led to another. I was stunned when he French-kissed me. He also grabbed my dick and went south. Talk about the firsts that night…

Long story short, he gave me the best BJ I have ever had, despite the ongoing scoreboard game he and I have been playing from the day one at college.

I soon found myself on my back, with my feet up in the air, returning the favor. I guess, I was too drunk to really care, and I owed him anyway. I felt like all those girls I heard screaming from his bedroom. Les is a very big guy.

Call me stupid, but I was sure that this was one off. I thought, we were just going to forget about this whole sex thing between the two us, and never even mention this. The next morning, we did our usual routine. Not a word was spoken about what took place the night before. I was determined not to go there anymore.

We got back from work, and it all looked perfectly normal. The usual bull… We went to gym and got back home. He closed the door behind him, grabbed me and started kissing like the night before. I was stunned again. That one-off thing played itself again. This time around, there was no alcohol involved. Again, some awkward silence afterwards with the usual banter to follow.

Fast forward, we had been at it daily for some five weeks before I gathered the courage to break the silence, and tell him that I was really not into this. I was honest. I told him that I enjoyed his BJs like hardly anything sexual I have ever experienced. I also told him that I did not feel like being his bitch. He was very silent at first. Then, he said, we had a deal going on. Something stupid, like I owned his mouth and he owned my ass. It was all good. He started all over kissing me, and I did not resist or say anything. We got into our usual loop.

I know that I simply do not have the guts to end this on my own. I also know that I cannot go on like this forever. I am still dating, taking chicks back to my bedroom and all. He seems to be fine with this. He has totally stopped dating, and spends his sexual energy on me.

I gave talk another chance last week. He looked me straight in the eye, and said, Dude, your hole is my goal. I have never heard him speak with such determination.

I do not want to move out, and stop being friends with Les. I also do not want to have sex with him anymore. I fear that there is really no way of doing this.

Alan

___

Guys, your thoughts and comments on this are welcome!

SC

~ by silverrrcloud on March 25, 2012.

3 Responses to “Gay Agony Uncle: Your Hole is My Goal”

  1. While under the law this is currently marked as rape, it doesn’t sound like anyone is getting too hurt, but this can quickly turn into a somewhat violent rape environment, so keep yourself protected.

    I wish I had some better advice to give, but I think your safety is paramount here.

    PS I apologize if this blog is anything more than what it appears like on face value and this response is inappropriate, it’s my first time here.

  2. First of all you have to ask yourself why you actually went along with having sex with your best friend. Having a drunken tryst is one thing, but continuing it Daily for over five weeks? Now I’m not trying to say that I think you secretly liked it, but it does put into question a couple of things you said. For one, you said that he gave you the best blow job you’ve ever had. Even if he is into men and had relationships or affairs without you knowing, skill doesn’t usually trump unwanted attention. And two, you mention that you don’t want to move and stay friends.

    You really have to think about why you’re letting him do this to you. Is he such a great guy that his better qualities trump what he’s doing, do you secretly not mind he’s a guy but are having second thoughts that it’s your best friend? Would the situation be the same with a different good friend?Does your (platonic) love for him make you see past the sex? Or hell, maybe you do secretly enjoy it? It seems like you don’t because you clearly say you want it to stop but your actions don’t make it look that way even if it’s the truth. Just from what you type it almost comes across as you being submissive because of some previous abuse. I don’t think that’s what’s happening here but it’s just further proof that the situation is very complicated and the way you didn’t try to stop it from the beginning needs to be explored further.

    You also have to take into consideration the situation form his perspective. You don’t want to have sex, but you didn’t stop it from the beginning and even reciprocated or played along. If I was in his shoes I’d think you were into the sex and the recanted ‘I don’t want to do this’ is just some minor residual straight guilt that you’ll eventually get over. Also, there is kissing, mutual kissing I assume. Kissing is very intimate and doesn’t usually happen with ‘buds exerting sexual energy’. Also the whole deal of ‘you own my mouth I own your ass’ clearly shows that he thinks theres some kind of equality in the relationship.

    You even said he has stopped dating, maybe it’s more than sex for him now. Maybe he even secretly liked you and this drunken tryst (with you outwardly reciprocating) makes him think you have something now? The ‘your hole is my goal’ might be a way to try to keep it ‘masculine’ in his explanation to you so neither of you have a ‘gay’ freakout.

    If you really want to stop it don’t let him brush it aside. Tell him that you’re sorry but you haven’t been enjoying the sex as much as he thinks and that you’re actually uncomfortable. Give him an ultimatum, if he tries to keep doing it, threaten to move out. You say you don’t want to move out, but it really may be the only way to stop it if he doesn’t think you’re being serious.

    No one should be uncomfortable in any kind of relationships that involves sex. Whether you’re not ready for it or don’t want it at all, the situation should not keep continuing. For both your sakes.

  3. Alan:

    The guys before me have raised a few valid issues.

    First off, I do not see any rape scenario here. You have consented each and every time by both failing to stop Les verbally, AND by complying with his demands. Saying, weeks later that you ‘don’t want to be his bitch” is a fair enough but he had no ways of knowing that for all those weeks past. He started the play, and you went along seemingly without any resistance on your part whatsoever. I do not see that rape is your concern here either.

    Second off, it is hard to deny that you are enjoying the sex with Les to some extent. The BJ is amazing as you say, and you really took a very long time to take some verbal action against the ongoing sexual relationship. It is very difficult to explain the long time it took you to say how you felt about it. Couple a days or even a week is a try. Five weeks?

    Third off, a sense of unease almost inaction comes out of your mail. You have all those thoughts, but are not sharing any of them with a guy who is still your best bud in the world. Friendships mean very different things in different cultures, but what is the point of being “best friends” if you can’t talk openly about your own relationship?

    I believe that you need solutions (and not even well-meant criticism). First and foremost, you want to make up your mind. You have to have your exit scenario at hand. Basically, what are you going to do, if push comes to shove? Comply and stay or move on? This is really for you alone to decide. And for you alone to know.

    Second off, you want to answer an important question to yourself alone. Is it so that you are really having some fun with this thing going on, save for the fact that you do not want to be his “bitch”? Would this thing work for you, if the roles were changed, reversed? Les seems to be pretty much into this. He may be willing to talk about it, if you addressed the issue without showing any discomfort when talking about it. Adopt a neutral attitude and talk about this with him without attaching any judgment to it. It will do you both good to recognize that something has been going on for a while now and that you may as well be mature enough to calmly talk about it. Assuring Les that no one is going to freak out about this may be well-worth the trouble.

    Third off, suggest that you need either a change of pace or a bit of a break from the usual run of the mill between the two of you. How about taking even couple of days off, adding them to the weekend, and going to see family, friends? Spending even short time apart may give you a fresh prospective. He may consider your words more seriously, too! At times, we all cannot see the forest for the trees. At times, a moment of solitude, and total honesty with yourself may do more than all the well-meant advice there is.

    SC

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