Why Do Gay Men Cheat?

Cheeky Nerd wrote an interesting post about the perennial question: Why Do Gay Men Cheat?

This is a hotly debated issue. Here is my reply:

True. Cheating is about the choices.

Another aspect of it within the gay context is that gay men happen to have an unusually large structure which enables cheating without much ado.

First off, men, gay and straight alike, unlike women do NOT tend to see any level of emotional involvement as a necessary precondition to having sex. Very few women would agree to having sex for the sake of sex. You do not find women roaming public parks at night (as well as other cruising grounds) in the hope of getting laid, do you? There is a saying that they would have to build a highway exit for such a park if it there ever was one. We all have choices. If the choices are made very easy by the natural hard wiring of men to spread their seed as far and as wide as possible more people will be prone to making such a choice. If as straight man chooses to cheat he faces quite some footwork before him. This lengthy footwork, i.e. courting requires time, energy, and money. The results are NOT guaranteed by any means. Cheating for gay men can have dire consequences. His supposedly monogamous relationship may end if he is found cheating. A straight guy may face a very expensive and tedious divorce, alimony payments and much more music down the road. There is a huge difference here.

Second off, gay men (out or in the closet) have broken the majority’s taboo. They have challenged the society’s assumed right to tell you whom to have sex with AND they survived. Once such a taboo is broken, gay men feel greatly empowered to challenge any number of other societal taboos. Much of the still existing anti-gay sentiment has to do with the courage of gay men to challenge such taboos. Millions of fundamentalists and other radicals around the world really could not care less whom other people bed. Their issue is not with Adam loving Steve. Their issue is not with Adam fucking Steve. Their issue is with challenging the assumed right of the majority to tell the people whom to date and mate. By default, the majority prescribes monogamy. Cheating is just another direct assault on their right to impose their mode and their will on everybody.

I strongly believe that human sexuality between and among consenting adults should remain a personal matter of each and every individual. The notion that society should impose its views and practices with regards to consenting sexual activity among adults on each and every individual for the sake of some greater good is simply a reincarnation of the totalitarian social engineering of the worst kind.

Save for within the context of behavioral science, the question: why people cheat when it comes to sex is actually a wrong question!


~ by silverrrcloud on March 14, 2012.

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