Gay Agony Uncle: Foreign Top in Belgrade

Hey Cloud:

I have been following your forum postings on the and decided to ask for your advice anonymously.

I am 30, Japanese American. I have never had any problem in hooking up with the guys I was interested in.

Some six months ago, I got a foreign assignment in Belgrade, Serbia. So far, I have enjoyed my stay here. I have been able to save up quite a bit and my career prospects with my employer look even better now.

My sex life has taken a nose dive and that’s actually why I am writing to you.

Being a “new guy” I took it slow, nice and easy. I went out and met a few interesting Serbian guys. I really started liking one of them, who I’ll call “Marko” here. We had a few drinks together at one of the usual “mixed places” as they call gay-friendly bars in Belgrade, and couple of days later, Marko called and asked if I wanted to see him again and hang out with him a bit.

I really liked the idea and agreed. After couple of drinks, we ended up at my place. I hate to sound like a common slut here, but I really needed some sex after almost two months of total abstinence. One thing led to another as they say, and I got soon enough on my knees sucking on his sizeable, thick tool. He adopted a bit of a dominant attitude and was telling me how to please him. Being mostly a top myself, I went along thinking that my time would come, too.

While I was still sucking on his uncut dick, Marko pulled out a condom and told me to bend over. I soon felt the cold lube dripping around my asshole. Within seconds, he penetrated me, going all the way to hilt. I was too shocked and confused to say anything. He pounded me like a stud that he is for the better part of what seemed like an hour or so. I zoned out into the sea of pain, pleasure, humiliation and desire to let him have his way with me. It was sex alright. Not the way I particularly enjoyed. But it was sex anyway.

He filled the condom like hardly anyone I have seen before did and proudly showed me how much manjuice he made by dangling it before my eyes.

From then on, the things did suddenly change. He started dressing, all smiles and was telling me that he was having a long day ahead. He was to drive for more than 800 kilometers the next day and he needed to get some sleep before that. He gave me a dry kiss, said “thank you” and left while I was still struggling to put on my robe and see him off. At the door, he also said, “If you want to get fucked again, call me anytime. I love fucking your ass.”

Well, I had bottomed before, so this was neither a shocker nor a total novelty. No doubt, Marko was a real stud; he had his way with me; did not care about me coming or anything. He just left. I was not going to dwell on this experience. I thought this was one off.

I went out next Friday and was approached by a very cute, college jock type at one of the better known “more gay places”. It was pretty obvious that he had hotts for me, and I found him very attractive, too.

I’ll save you the details but we soon ended at “Boban’s” place. The story pretty much repeated itself with the exception that this time around, I managed to ask, if he would not mind helping me with my orgasm?

Well, Boban looked totally astonished and said “Dude, I have just fucked you royally. If you want another round, ask for it. No problem. But I am not going to suck your dick or anything. I don’t do those things.”

It was very obvious that I was running out of luck here, too. I left very quickly.

My third encounter ended up very quickly. Once I said, “Nope, dude, you suck me first!” he looked up at me in total disbelief and said “Hell, no! Everybody knows that you suck and get fucked like a pro.”

At that point I realized that I have a real problem at my hands here. Local guys seem to be sharing their exploits with each other. I have earned the reputation of being a bottom, and now everyone expects me to bottom happily for them.

Where do I go from here?

Thanks a lot for taking your time to read this and help me with this problem.


~ by silverrrcloud on September 13, 2010.

2 Responses to “Gay Agony Uncle: Foreign Top in Belgrade”

  1. Is this for anybody to answer? If so, I have a few thoughts. A reputation and cultural machismo are tough things to shake, so you can only worry about the things you can actually change. There’s no shame in being a bottom, so I hope you’re not upset you have a reputation for getting fucked. You did get fucked without objecting to it, after all. Here’s a simple fix: Before you get naked with someone, talk to the guy about what you like in bed. If the guy is surprised, let him know he can’t believe everything he hears, like kiss-and-tell gossip. Screw spontaneity until you’ve established that you can demand the kind of sex that you want too, including topping, making out, getting sucked, and coming. Guys that can’t handle that aren’t guys who will satisfy you in bed anyhow. You can swap one reputation——as a selfless bottom——with another one, that of a confident guy who won’t get walked on just so some selfish prick can get his rocks off.

  2. I agree with Jet here. Unless you clearly establish that you want to top before the actual play really starts, and unless you stop accepting other guy’s move that may not suit without a word, they actually have every right to believe that you are going along with it because you are enjoying it.

    Yoshi has made a point here by stating that he was expecting that his partner would naturally “help him with his orgasm”, one way or the other. And I am sure that a number of other guys would really do that. Leaving your playmate hanging high and dry is really not that cool. But no one can really assume that everyone would really feel obliged.

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